Hushed Morning

One of the reasons I love living in this state is for this:

  
And this:

  
And one more:

  
My house is quiet – the kids are at a cousins or Gramma and Grampa’s or an aunt’s house.  I have time to drink my coffee on our deck and just…breathe.

In the midst of all my pondering about what our next adventure is going to be, I can’t help but wonder if another sapling should come into the mix.  My husband and I always wanted 5…that is, until we had our third and she climbed walls and inserted things into the electrical sockets.  However, I feel that it would be so much easier now that we are settled into our forever home, have enough space, and the other three would be big helpers and enjoy the experience – our oldest has even asked for one…as long as it’s a boy!

Although I know my husband would get on board and be alright with the idea eventually, he’s torn because we are finally in a place where things aren’t so crazy (in terms of life with the kids).  They sleep through the night, they are all in school, if you ask them to shower, they can do most of it without help.  We all fit nicely in our vehicles with space for a friend/cousin or two.

My side of the discussion consists of we’ve done it before and survived nicely, a baby brings our family closer every time, even if we didn’t think our family unit could.  Let’s face it – I changed most of the diapers and woke up multiple times a night for feedings with the other three, so most of it would probably rest on my shoulders. And really, in the grand scheme of things, the “little” years go by so quickly.  Working in education (I’ve been in the education world for quite a few years, in roles other than teaching), I’ve seen so many children lacking the basics on which to grow – safety, food, affection and love.  We are able to provide our children with that, so why shouldn’t we, if we have the means, share that without another person on this planet to live as an example of what we humans should do? 

That brings up another point that I’m sure someone is thinking: what about adoption or foster care?  I’ve thought of that as well.  But, my husband’s family did foster care for years and he had things stolen and broken, watched his mother have to wrestle children who would fly off the handle, and he does not want to have our children experience that.  I have to respect his point of view.  

This morning, I looked at pregnancy photos of myself and pictures of our children as babies, and can’t help but feel a part of me saying, “Are you sure you’re family is complete?”  That is the question of the hour. 

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